How to succeed without substance

The world has never seen the best people on top.Throughout the known history of civilization ,only mediocrity and sheer incompetence  has ruled and determined the fate of the human race.
So, my fellow duffers and below average brethren rejoice!The code to success has been revealed by the God of Mediocrity in Mariana Deep.Here it goes:

1. Remove your spine.
2. Keep your tongue dipped in butter and honey.
3. Look inwards.Love thyself only.
4. Be always with the T-1.
5. Be his Left hand.It reaches the most private body parts daily.
6. Always look up to T-1 with the expression of an awe struck adoring poodle.
7. Lap up his every word as pearl of ultimate wisdom.
8. Identify the best people in the organization. They are your tools to the top.
9. Take up the gauntlet at every whim of T-1.
10. Then throw it to the tools - read-competent and either self respecting or coward colleagues.
11. Tools will not go to the T-1 to expose you for obvious reasons.
12. Obtain the signatures of tools on the gauntlet.They will think that it is for their credit.
13. Save these finger prints to pass the buck and blame in case T-1 does not like it.
14. Create small favors to new recruits, fellow duffers.They will become your eyes and ears.
15. Blow your small achievements out of proportion.
16. Contrive to get all the awards for your insignificant and others' big achievements.
17. When difficult assignments come to you, manage to put them to the committee of tools.
18. If possible,learn and master MS Excel.Access will be beyond you.Word will find many willing typists.
19. Remember, Excel is so far the best fool-maker out of any T-1. For next 10 years all T-1s will be computer scary.
20. Always wear a Chameleon Charm on your sleeve.

Follow the code religiously to become next T-1.
Bon voyage to the top of the world!!!